…old age is no place for sissies…the end draws nigh?

Tim met Death when he tried to wake up. He wasn’t a young man anymore, everything happened slower. Death waited patiently ‘n gently grinned.

Tim met Death when he put down his pencil ‘n pad. Tim fought bitterly not to, but his hands when gnarled with arthritis.

Tim met Death when he wanted learn about voice recognition technology. I have no clue Death thought. Tim had one of his grandsons teach him.

Tim met Death on a beach. He felt his bones ache as the wind whipped his cheeks ‘n the waves crashed. Death helped Tim across the dunes.

Tim met Death when his hands started to shake. He wasn’t able to do the things he loved to do, paint, play the guitar, hold a pen. Death frowned. Tim laughed ‘n asked Death to give him a drink shaker, they might as well have some fun.

Tim met Death when he had trouble walking up the stairs, but he steadily toddled up each step. Death lent him a steady hand ‘n arm to hold.

Tim met Death when he broke his hip. His step was now slow ‘n he shuffled, his back bent. He fell onto the sidewalk. Death stay by his side.

Tim met Death when he first got a walker it was bulky ‘n grey ‘n ugly. Death put cut off tennis balls on it so was easier to maneuver.

Tim met Death gave him a present. Death ‘n Tim’s grandsons built him a custom walker. Tim was the envy of everyone at the old folks home.

Tim met Death for lunch. Tim had a lot of lady friends ‘n everyone wanted to sit at his table at the old folks home. Death sighed ‘n watched.

Tim met Death the last time he looked up at the stars. The wonder of them never dimmed though his eyes had. Death patted Tim on the back.

Tim met Death at a coffee shop. While in queue the barista was giving Death the eye ‘n wrote her number on the receipt. Tim smiled broadly.

Tim met Death at twilight. His eyes shadowed ‘n fogged, senses dimmed to a slow muttering, his body broken beyond repair, but with wit as sharp as ever. His body a prison. Tim accepted Death’s sweet embrace ‘n greet him as a friend.

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…after thirty a body has a mind of it’s own…hopefully his won’t lose it…

Tim met Death at sunset well chagrined. Tim’s eyes held knowledge ‘n pain ‘n his smile held wisdom. Death forgave him ‘n stood by his side.

Tim met Death when he needed glasses. Tim used to be able to see a robin 10 meters away. Tim hated his new glasses. Death patted his back.

Tim met Death when he first forgot something, his keys on the side table. Tim shrugged. Death forgot nothing, it was his gift, it was curse.

Tim met Death when he first had a nap midday after work. Tim felt like an old codger. Death clapped him on the back ‘n gave him some coffee.

Tim met Death when he had a midlife crisis he bought a convertible ‘n ran away to Spain. Death drank sangria ‘n sat on the beach. Tim smiled

Tim met Death in a waiting room. Death looked at the magazines most of them were older than him. Tim read a Cat Fanciers from the Dark Ages.

Tim met Death on a park bench. Tim ate a kabob ‘n Death listened to Waka Flocka Flame. Tim’s lunch break was almost over. Death sighed.

Tim met Death at a meeting. One of the people there had an annoying laugh. After an hour of it even Death was grumbly ‘n sharpening his scythe.

Tim met Death at a grocery store. Tim wandered the aisles ‘n went to grab some lion bars ‘n gatorade. Death slapped his hand ‘n tsked him.

Tim met Death when he met a client. Her level of stupidity was only matched by her need to control. Death touched the client she calmed down her screaming.

Tim met Death at a party it was black tie. It was so boring that even Death wanted to die. It was open bar, so they took a bottle ‘n bailed.

Tim met Death at work. He hoped he could scare his boss to death. Death shook his head and he flirted, making eyes at Pam from accounting.

Tim met Death the first time he threw out his back. Tim was helping one of his friends move out, that credenza weighed a ton. Death passed him some aspirin ‘n a beer.

Tim met Death on a business trip of a lifetime. Death checked his list, this was Christmas ‘n his birthday rolled into one, tone-deaf hacks that relied on auto-tune.

Tim met Death to get coffee. Tim looked like death warmed over, he hadn’t gotten any sleep. Death let slip he had killed the Sandman again.

Tim met Death on a train. There were no murder mysteries to solve, but they did do an autopsy on a sandwich. Death scraped off the ketchup.

Tim met Death at a vineyard. Which was weird. Tim had got the directions wrong, but they did have a bottle of wine for their tea in underworld.

Tim met Death when he got his first grey hair. He wasn’t happy. Death touched Tim’s hair ‘n it went full grey ‘n handed him a bottle of dye.

Tim met Death when he thought he wasn’t good enough. Death gave him a kitten poster that said just hang in there ‘n two thumbs then smirked.

Tim met Death when he started to bald. He was not happy. Death touched Tim’s head ‘n he went fully bald. Tim told Death to fuck off, well ‘n good. Death gave him a hat.

Tim met Death when he first learned to golf. Death grimaced ‘n groaned. They ended up making a bet, who would break a window first. Tim won.

Tim met Death when he first felt his age. He was bald ‘n had a paunch, but had never felt old ‘n had always looked younger than he was.

Tim met Death near the shore of a lake. Tim skipped stones, watched deer drink from it. Tim was troubled by where he was going in his life.

Tim met Death to make his dream come true, he hated 9 to 5 ‘n the office he wanted to write. Death helped Tim grab all his office stuff.

Tim met Death when he had writer’s block. Tim couldn’t think of anything. You thought you couldn’t think of anything so write Death thought.

Tim met Death at a desk. He was scribbling ‘n throwing paper in the bin. Death looked at the papers Tim threw away. Really good. Death shrugged, writers.

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…the world is his oyster…hopefully he won’t get food poisoning…

Tim met Death when he went to out into the world. He was ready to conquer it. Death loved Tim’s overoptimism ‘n hoped it was well founded.

Tim met Death when first tried to watch the clock or tried to. Tim had never really gotten the concept of time. Death shrugged ‘n laughed.

Tim met Death at a barbecue. Tim flipped meat. Death was banned from the grill after he burnt off Tim’s brows ‘n gave them food poisoning.

Tim met Death on a beach. They sat ‘n watched the waves. Drank beers ‘n people watched. Tim wandered off to talk to a girl. Death sighed.

Tim met Death when his feet had an itch to wander ‘n the sea called out to him stronger than any voice. Death found a boat, they both beamed.

Tim met Death when he first ate curry. Death put a bog roll in the freezer to chill. Next day Tim thought he was birthing a lava monster.

Tim met Death at a moving rental place to rent a truck. He was moving from his parent’s place. Death gave Tim a leaning tower of liquor boxes ‘n enough newspapers to pack a body.

Tim met Death at his apartment. He roped in a few friends into helping him move in. Tim’s apartment was on the 13th floor with no elevator. His friends were pissed off ‘n sweaty. Death laughed hard.

Tim met Death at his apartment. He gave Death the grand tour. Everything was about five steps from everything else. Death picked up a cockroach ‘n gave it a gentle pat. Death respected their tenacity, tough little buggers.

Tim met Death to spring clean Death’s room. Tim grabbed a broom. They had to fight a village of pants gnomes to reclaim the closet alone.

Tim met Death to raid his closet. He was behind enough most of what he had was cool, not sure the codpiece was. Just you wait Death thought.

Tim met Death when he first slept on an air mattress. Tim awoke to it loudly hissing. Death popped it with his bony ass, he was embarrassed.

Tim met Death for breakfast. The scotched eggs were raw, the apple butter scorched. Death didn’t know how to cook. Tim patted Death’s back.

Tim met Death at a laundromat. Death had somethings he had to wash, dozen dirty lost souls. Tim put coins in the machine ‘n watched it spin.

Tim met Death when he took off his clothes ‘n ran naked through the campus. Death gave Tim a big fig leaf to cover his twigs ‘n berries.

Tim met Death when he realized he was falling for fun ‘n socializing ‘n letting what he needed to do slip. Enough talk do it Death thought.

Tim met Death when he was chosen as the bestman for a friend’s wedding. Tim was bit nervous. Death gave two thumbs up ‘n thought free booze.

Tim met Death at a funereal. Death crossed great aunt Beatrice off his list ‘n went ‘n got a beer. There was an open bar at the wake. Death was going to have some fun. Tim talked to girls.

Tim met Death in a home improvement store. One good thing about living in holes is you learn a lot about DYI Tim thought. Death shrugged.

Tim met Death in a bookstore that was part of a chain. Death drank his coffee ‘n read a book he was never going buy in a comfy armchair.

Tim met Death on a city block. Tim loved the excitement, color ‘n noise. Death loved the sea ‘n wanted to sit on a beach. He hated pavement.

Tim met Death under the sea. They scuba dived ‘n no octopus’s garden like was said in the brochure. A squid clung to Tim’s leg. Death batted it off.

Tim met Death when he first went home. His mother was the same as she ever was, yet something was different. Tim it’s you Death thought.

Tim met Death at the meat section of the grocery store. They were throwing a barbecue. Tim was to man the grill ‘n Death was to be the host.

Tim met Death at a barbecue. It was a rousing success. Death really was a people person ‘n Tim was a good cook. No one died or was poisoned that day.

Tim met Death in his apartment when Tim’s neighbor kept blasting the dubstep ‘n banging the walls with their sexual escapades. Death frowned.

Tim met Death to raid his closet. He was behind the times enough most of what he had was cool. Tim wasn’t sure the codpiece would come into style again. Just you wait Death thought.

Tim met Death at a party it was black tie. It was so boring that even Death wanted to die. It was open bar, so they took a bottle ‘n left.

Tim met Death to get coffee. Tim looked like he was mugged, but he just had a long night with the guys. Death gave him some hair of the dog.

Tim met Death at a bookstore. They went to a book signing for Tim’s favorite author John Doe. Death read a bit of the book in the queue. Well at least it has a bit more life than a Dan Brown book Death thought.

Tim met Death ‘n built a rocket ship ‘n put in Tim’s antique laptop ‘n sent into the sun. They gave it an alien Viking burial. Death smiled

Tim met Death at a movie, Remake of a Remake Part 2. The trailers for it looked good ‘n Tim was excited. Death groaned ‘n buried his head.

Tim met Death to have lunch with his grandpa. As one of the few men still alive, grandpa was the Don Juan of the nursing home. Death grinned.

Tim met Death at a nursing home to visit his grandpa. Tim got pinched a lot by the old ladies on the bum cheeks. Death giggled ‘n pointed.

Tim met Death at a comics store to sell a few things. Tim had broke a cardinal rule, never remove from box. They ran after him. Death sighed.

Tim met Death on a trip. He lost his arm, but he was able to fish it out of the lake trolls mouth. The underworld, dangerous place to fish.

Tim met Death when he met Anne the love of his life. Death hated her guts, but Tim loved her so he kept his lips shut. Tim was a blind man.

Tim met Death on his wedding day. Death was his best man. He had never gone to a wedding, Death was unsure what to do. Tim had bad nerves.

Tim met Death at his wedding party. Death raised Samuel Clemens from the dead to give the best man speech in his stead. Tim gave a grin.

Tim met Death when he first pined for someone. Anne had to go on a business trip ‘n oh how Tim missed her. Death did a cartwheel ‘n laughed.

Tim met Death to go find a dog because he was lonely. Dogs don’t judge, have an agenda or manipulate the way that people do. Tim found Bud.

Tim met Death when he held his daughter for the first time. She was beautiful with a little lock of white hair. Death smiled, he loved life.

Tim met Death when he woke up early morning to feed his daughter. Alice was fussy ‘n hungry. Death watched’em ‘n sighed with contentment.

Tim met Death when he found Alice sharing her popsicle with Bud the dog. Tim shouted. Death tsked him. It never hurt you Death thought.

Tim met Death when he bonked Alice’s head. Tim freaked out ‘n thought maybe she should wear a helmet. Death shook his head. Alice giggled.

Tim met Death when Alice took her diaper off ‘n went running through the grocery store. Tim tried to catch her. Death shook with laughter.

Tim met Death when he took Alice to the park. He put her on a swing. Tim pushed Alice gently, but she wanted to go high. Death chuckled.

Tim met Death when he dropped Alice off at her first day of nursery school. Tim was nervous. Death patted his back ‘n grinned. She loved it.

Tim met Death when he stepped on a lone lego on the carpet. The pain was excruciating ‘n his face turned red. Death smiled ‘n Alice giggled.

Tim met Death when he first had jet lag, quickly moving east across a continent did things. People can be weird creatures Death thought.

Tim met Death when he slammed Alice’s fingers in the car door. Oh how she cried, he was so worried. Death patted his back. She was fine.

Tim met Death when he was first disillusioned. He thought that he would spend a lifetime with her. She had different plans. Death sighed.

Tim met Death when Alice went to college. He helped her get pack ‘n move. Death made that Schlep was safe in one those boxed. Alice beamed.

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…young dumb and full of…hope…

Tim met Death at noon. His eyes glinted with defiance ‘n his grin was lit with a fierce joy. The future was his. He pushed Death aside.

Tim met Death when he got his first zit, it was on the tip of his nose. Tim freaked out, it was the day before a date. Death popped his zit.

Tim met Death when he met his first girlfriend Mindy. She was sexy ‘n a crazy catty moron. Death pointed it out. Tim came to ‘n dumped her.

Tim met Death when he met his first arachnid, his name was John ‘n ran the corner store. The underworld was a great place Death thought.

Tim met Death when he first had to clean his room. Death pretended it was an archeological dig ‘n shivered. Tim found a rotting sandwich.

Tim met Death in Death’s office. Tim was banned from the computer. He was accursed. Death had to hold a exorcism the last time Tim checked email.

Tim met Death at a rap battle. He came in third place ‘n was schooled royally. Death lost spectacularly, but he didn’t mind. He won…in the end.
Tim met Death at his first job at the fast food joint. The underworld was a world of kittens ‘n sunshine compared to here Death thought.

Tim met Death in jail. They said it was public defacement. Tim said it was art, he did some murals. Death posted bail ‘n patted his back.

Tim met Death when his brain melted into a soup. Death ladled his brain back into his head. You could win a BAFTA Death thought. Tim grinned.

Tim met Death when his laptop died, the thing got hot enough to roast a leg of lamb. Death wasn’t surprised. Tim cursed at it vigorously.

Tim met Death at an English class. Death didn’t know why you’d need it, those of the underworld spoke mostly in thoughts. Tim loved it. Words were like food to him ‘n hand itched to write.

Tim met Death when he first learned to drive. Death grimaced ‘n held on tight. Tim drove like a maniac ‘n flew. Death checked his list.

Tim met Death when he got his first car, the best car ever, the Mean Machine. Death looked it over and gave Tim some asbestos-lined pants.

Tim met Death when he wondered what it was to be human? What made humans so special? They’re not Death thought that’s just what they think.

Tim met Death when he first laid on his back ‘n looked at the stars ‘n wondered what was out there maybe creatures like us. Death shrugged.

Tim met Death when he had his first mug of coffee. Death poured him a mug of the blackest coffee from the underworld. Tim liked it, a lot.

Tim met Death when he had to have his wisdom teeth pulled. Tim had to chomp down on teabags to coagulate the blood. Death puked ‘n ran.

Tim met Death for tea. Death had coffee. He never drank tea again when he had seen teabag strings hanging from Tim’s mouth. Tim shrugged.

Tim met Death at a liquor store to get boxes for moving. Death was there to replenish his supplies. There was no booze in the underworld.

Tim met Death at a psychiatrist’s. He told Tim Death was a figment of his imagination. Death touched the psychiatrists mocha ‘n curdled it.

Tim met Death to say goodbye to his VW bus, it was completely unsalvageable. Tim had called it the Mean Machine ‘n Death the Rusty Tuna Can.

Tim met Death the second time he totaled his VW bus. Tim flew off the road, hit a fence post ‘n freed sheep. Death crawled out ‘n grinned.

Tim met Death in the garage. Tim breathed life back into the corpse of his totalled VW bus. Death handed Tim a wrench ‘n shook his head.

Tim met Death when he totaled his first car a VW bus. He plowed it into the wheel well of a lorry. Death looked over him, laughed heartily.

Tim met Death in bed. Tim didn’t want to get up ‘n he pulled the covers over his head. School. Death dragged Tim out of bed by his foot.

Tim met Death at his first concert with the guys. They made devil horns ‘n sang at the top of their lungs ‘n moshed. Tim drank hardcore puked ‘n passed out. Tim’s friends drew dicks on his face with a sharpie pen. Death laughed until he cried.

Tim met Death when he first smoked weed with his friends. No giggling for him or munchies. He slept like death. Death gently put a pillow under his head.

Tim met Death at a Tom Petty concert. They sat in the nosebleed seats choking on the smoke machine fumes. Death loved it ‘n waved a lighter.

Tim met Death camping. Tim awoke to a fearful din. A bear was batting their things around ‘n eating chocolate digestive biscuits. They escaped.

Tim met Death at his first strip club. There were pretty ladies, not so pretty ones too, some looked to be missing links. All of them couldn’t be touched. Death tucked a fiver into Cindy’s thong, she was putting herself through college.

Tim met Death in a forest. Tim punched the Orc guard ‘n grabbed the keys. This so worth it Death thought, the best fudge in the underworld.

Tim met Death at a Tom Petty concert. They sat in the nosebleed seats choking on the smoke machine fumes. Death loved it ‘n waved a lighter.

Tim met Death. All the other guys towered over him ‘n he wondered if he might grow a few more centimeters. Death shook his head no ‘n shrugged.

Tim met Death at a concert with the guys. Rainbow was awesome. Dio a
god. Proof you can be short ‘n get the girls ‘n rock out loud. Tim’s friends clapped his back ‘n mussed his hair. Death smiled.

Tim met Death when he first tried acid. Tim met the gatekeeper of the astral plane Alan ‘n Death fed a pan-dimensional squirrel rainbows. Alan scurried away ‘n the squirrel taught them how to play gin.

Tim met Death when he got a hooker for a birthday gift from the guys. It was obviously a joke because even Death wouldn’t touch her with his thoughts ‘n the guys were cracking up.

Tim met Death on a fishing boat they helped bait crab pots ‘n lobster traps. Tim was still too small to help haul in the line. Death smiled.

Tim met Death when he mocked a jogger. Tim made the jogger’s a heart-rate go down. He woke up with a sore jaw that was wired shut. Death gave Tim a milkshake.

Tim met Death on a bench where he sat a lot. Coach didn’t really like him, called him a shrimp. Death patted Tim’s back ‘n look at his list.

Tim met Death at a pub where the beer was always warm ‘n the women were always cold. Death loved misery and sadness ‘n Tim liked free beer.

Tim met Death when he first pulled an all-nighter. Tim had lived on strong coffee to finish that school project. Tim yawned ‘n Death sighed.

Tim met Death at his history class. He felt he could die of boredom. Death shook his head and waved to the professor, a childhood friend.

Tim met Death at a club. Tim was dancing with a girl. Her boyfriend came over ‘n punched him. Death put Tim’s Suess hat back on his head.

Tim met Death in bed. Tim never touched tequila ever again, he wasn’t even sure anything happened, he’d been blackout drunk. Death giggled.

Tim met Death on a dock. They walked ‘n watched the fish being gutted. Tim wondered where’d he go after he died, Death shrugged, he didn’t know where anyone went until the last minute.

Tim met Death to see if his great big hands could be replaced. It was tough to type with them or do anything delicate. Death shook his head.

Tim met Death ‘n complained about his laptop, it kept crashing ‘n overheating. Death made a cheese toastie using Tim’s laptop as griddle ‘n shrugged. Tim ate his sandwich.

Tim met Death in a shoe store. They searched the aisles ‘n found a pair that were big enough to fit Tim. They were so ugly that Death cringed.

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…will you walk into my parlor? said the spider to the fly…

Tim met Death when he was a little boy. Death was almost as good as a Dad, since Tim’s Dad went out for a pack of fags ‘n never returned. Tim hoped he would come back someday though.

Tim met Death ‘n they stood out on a beach in a storm. Death loved it. There were no storms in the underworld. Tim ran around with a smile

Tim met Death when he lost his first tooth. Death didn’t like the Tooth Fairy at all. She dumped him for the Sandman. Death glared at her ‘n Tim squealed with delight at his shiny penny.

Tim met Death when he was first bit by a horsefly. Oh how Tim cried, the bite stung so bad. Death patted Tim ‘n swatted the fly to a smear.

Tim met Death in a theater. Tim was skipping school to go watch The Legend of the Drunken Master. Death brought in the popcorn ‘n gummies.

Tim met Death at a clothes store. Tim didn’t want to be there, but his mom was having him try on clothes. Death took a seat ‘n laughed hard.

Tim met the first time he had to pee in a public loo Tim was too short to use the urinal like a big boy. He had to bend back ‘n arch it in.

Tim met Death at a lemonade stand. He was trying to earn enough money for that Dalek he wanted. Death bought a cup ‘n ruffled Tim’s hair.

Tim met Death at toy store. All the other little boys wanted the newest action figure with stabby motion. Tim wanted a sword. Death grinned.

Tim met Death in the North Pole. They freed the elves from slavery making toys ‘n their jolly overlord. They feasted on milk ‘n cookies. Death handed Tim a candy cane ‘n shook with laughter at his tale.

Tim met Death at a desk. He was scribbling away furiously ‘n throwing away most of the papers in the bin. Death looked at those papers. Really good. Death shrugged, writers.

Tim met Death the first time he skinned his knee. Oh how it hurt. Death smiled put on a bandaid ‘n brushed Tim off. Tim ran away laughing.

Tim met Death at Grandpa’s. He happily played in the abandoned sawmill. Death prayed to the gods of not slipping. They answered his prayers.

Tim met Death on a beach. They built sandcastles ‘n flew kites. Tim sat quietly ‘n wondered would he live forever. Death shook his head ‘n sighed.

Tim met Death in hell or at least that was what it seemed to be. Though there were an awful lot of families wearing rat ears. Death kicked a giant rat into the bushes when it tried to touch Tim.

Tim met Death the first time he ran away. He went into the woods. Mum had gotten really sore about him breaking a window. Death smirked.

Tim met Death in the first fort he ever built with the guys. He was so proud of it, no girls allowed. Death put on a hard hat on Tim’s head.

Tim met Death when he first liked a girl. He was confused. Everyone knew that girls had cooties, but Tim wanted to be with her. He pulled her hair. Death laughed.

Tim met Death first day of school. Tim carried his school supplies in a heap. A ghoul ate his backpack ‘n his lunch, except for the raisins.

Tim met Death when he first questioned authority. Why should I do this Tim wondered. Mr. Klein the PE teacher said shut up. Death grinned

Tim met Death in a living room. They watched 1970’s cop shows. Tim wished that they could be cops ‘n have awesome friends like Huggy Bear.

Tim met Death when he first slept overnight at a friend’s house. Tim told the best ghost stories ‘n Death’s stories put everybody to sleep.

Tim met Death at a library. Tim loved a challenging read. A textual Jackson Pollock or Salvador Dali was the best he thought. Death smiled.

Tim met Death when he ‘n some friends went over to farmer Greg’s place to hassled the sheep. Death grabbed Tim by the ear ‘n took him home.

Tim met Death when saved up his money ‘n bought his first computer an ancient Apple II. It was so fun to play around with. Death grinned.

Tim met Death the first time he had food poisoning. Tim sweated ‘n shook. Death sighed ‘n gave him a ginger ale ‘n a piece of dry toast.

Tim met Death in a house with the guys that was haunted. The walls started bleeding. Tim was scared. Death tasted it, it was strawberry jam.

Tim met Death the first time he broke his nose in the schoolyard. He’d always been small for his age. The bully attacked, Death stepped in.

Tim met Death when he was learning to ride his bike. He hit a rock ‘n was catapulted into a hay bale. Death cheered ‘n clapped vigorously.

When Tim turned thirteen he met Death ‘n told him to fuck off. Tim was in a leg cast for doing that skateboard trick. Death signed his cast.

Tim met Death the first time he took a shower, he scrubbed. Tim snuck in ‘n flushed the toilet. Death shivered ‘n blindly grabbed at a towel.

Tim met Death at a comic con. There were many in strange garb. It was like the underworld, but the smell was worse Death thought. Tim beamed.

Tim met Death at the main office at the school. Tim was doing poorly in some of classes. It turned out he was dyslexic. Death shrugged, could be worse.

Tim met Death when he first picked up a guitar, it sounded like a cat dying. Death didn’t know how to use an axe he was a drummer hardcore.

Tim met Death ‘n he talked the Devil into giving Tim guitar lessons. The price of the lessons was a few years off the end of Tim’s life. Tim thought it was a good trade, those were adult diaper years.

Tim met Death when he had his first crush, Mrs. Jones. Tim was hopelessly besotted ‘n actually called her mummy in class. Death chuckled.

Tim met Death in a hospital. He crashed, did a faceplant into gravel ‘n totaled his bike. Tim laughed in Death’s face. Death shrugged, kids.

Tim met Death when he learned to sew. Tim tried to sew a bag, it looked like a straightjacket for Cthulhu. Death threw a thimble at him.

Tim met Death when he and some friends bummed some fags from the French teacher. Tim coughed, his eyes watering. Death tsked ‘n snickered.

Tim met Death the second time he broke his nose in PE. They were playing dodgeball, Tim was hit repeatedly. Death had words with the teacher.

Tim met Death at the grocery store. He ‘n the guys tried to shoplift candy bars. A little old lady saw Tim ‘n smacked him to the floor with her purse. Death applauded.

Tim met Death in a tree. He was spying on his sister’s party hoping for a glimpse of naughty bits. Death took Tim’s goggles away ‘n watched Mrs. Peterson the crazy cat lady. Soon.

Tim met Death on a bus. The cramped bus reeked of mortality ‘n B.O. It nearly made Death pass out. Tim’s eyes watered ‘n he prayed for sweet release. Death shook his head no.

Tim met Death he when cheated off the pretty ginger girl taking the test in front of him. Death dragged his desk away ‘n ate the test.

Tim met Death when he had his first kiss. It was at a birthday for a girl he knew. They played spin the bottle. Tim closed his eyes ‘n went in for the kiss. Death blushed.

Tim met Death at a cafeteria table. There were groups ‘n cliques of kids everywhere. Tim didn’t feel like he belonged anywhere. Death grinned bemused.

Tim met Death when he wouldn’t budge from bed. Death tried being nice. Mum I don’t want to go to school Tim muttered. Death dumped him out.

Tim met Death at a cafeteria ‘n had found friends to joke ‘n sneer at the materialistic plastic ‘n shallow. Death liked the dyed hair ‘n attitude ‘n piercings.

Tim met Death at a school disco. Tim danced. Death leaned on a wall, he had two left feet. Death was going get that fixed in the underworld.

Tim met Death when he was picked last for football. There were so many kids bigger ‘n stronger. Death gave a huge grin ‘n patted his back.

Tim met Death when he had sex for the first time. His babysitter was buxom ‘n willing, but not gentle. A coffee table broke. Death giggled.

Tim met Death when he got his nose pierced ‘n it looked wicked. Tim’s Mum loved it, she could grab it ‘n lead him around. Death snickered.

Tim met Death at school as punishment for supergluing the toilet seats closed he had to clean the girl’s bathroom. Death shivered in horror.

Tim met Death when he ‘n some of his friends broke into a friend’s parent’s liquor cabinet. They mixed drinks so vile that even Death got queasy.

Tim met Death when he first tried to impress a girl. He tried to do all sorts of stupid tricks to get her attention. Death gave Tim a parachute ‘n a helmet.

Tim met Death on his first date. Everything died, his jokes, the mood ‘n she looked at him like he was a dead bug. Death bought him a beer.

Tim met Death when he plugged the toilet at a girl’s house. He thought he’d die of embarrassment. Death shook his head ‘n handed him a plunger.

Tim met Death at the library. He wasn’t doing his homework ‘n was being a brat. The librarian snapped ‘n started throwing books at him. Death gave Tim a thesaurus to block the incoming tomes.

Tim met Death when his voice broke right in the middle of a school assembly. Tim thought he’d die of shame. Death shook his head ‘n sighed in exasperation.

Tim met Death at the arcade with a pocket full of coins. They played Golden Axe. Death thought he cheated, but Tim had the reflexes of a bat.

Tim met Death when he first held his little niece. She cooed ‘n smiled then cried ‘n spat up all over his shirt. Death handed Tim a towel.

Tim met Death in a cooking class. He was the one boy in a sea of girls. Tim patted Death on the back ‘n grinned hugely. Class began.

Tim met Death by a counter. Most of the girls at the cooking class were squeamish about deboning a chicken ‘n came to Tim for help. Death laughed. Tim was happy.

Tim met Death by an oven. Tim had been fussed over by all the girls in the cooking class. He had gotten dates ‘n numbers. Death chuckled.

Tim met Death when he first tried to act cool ‘n seem tough. Death gave Tim the Book of the Lame ‘n pointed out acting cool was in the dogeared first chapter.

Tim met Death in a park. He took Death’s head ‘n duct taped it on his radio controlled plane ‘n terrorized geese on the pond. Death clapped.

Tim met Death at the mall. All the zombies made Death nervous because they were all still alive. Tim patted Death on the back ‘n they left.

Tim met Death ‘n wondered why couldn’t sleep like a normal person. Death hugged him ‘n laughed his head off ‘n put back on again. Normal didn’t exist.

Tim met Death at his woodworking class. Death put some goggles on Tim ‘n prayed to the gods of not slicing a finger. Tim cut off his pinkie.

Tim met Death in an ambulance. Tim was screaming I’m going to die. Death shook his head ‘n held the plastic container that held Tim’s pinkie on ice.

Tim met Death in a hospital. They were able to reattach Tim’s pinkie. They ran for it. Even Death didn’t like it there, but his job took him there a lot.

Tim met Death when he first shaved. With a sharp razor ‘n shaving cream he went at it. He did okay. Death handed Tim a toilet paper roll.

Tim met Death in a sunny spot. Death sighed contentedly. The underworld didn’t have sunshine or drinks with little umbrellas. Tim beamed.

Tim met Death when he met his first love Angelica, the most perfect, the most beautiful girl in the whole entire world. Death gave a chuckle

Tim met Death when Angelica dumped him for a footballer named Steve. Death took a piece of Tim’s heart, grinned ‘n gave him a shot of whiskey.

Tim met Death on his 15th birthday. Death gave him his old motorcycle to fix up. Tim looked it over, it was the best ever. Death chuckled ‘n smiled, it was a heap he thought.

Tim met Death when he got his first motorcycle. Death prayed to the gods of not crashing. Tim slammed into a barn ‘n the bracken broke his fall.

Tim met Death on a dirt road. He blew out his tire ‘n his bike sailed into a river, the bracken broke his fall. Death whistled ‘n clapped.

Tim met Death at the garage. He was fixing up his bike. Death had abandoned helmets ‘n commonsense. He now prayed to the gods of well-placed bracken.

Tim met Death the third time he broke his nose. He had enough of the guys that bullied him. He went off on them. Death taught Tim how to duck ‘n dodge.

Tim met Death at midnight when he could not get to sleep. Death had accidentally killed the Sandman when they went bowling. Tim growled. Death grinned thoroughly amused.

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Hello…

­­­­Tim first met Death with his first breath and scared him away with his first cry. Tim had some powerful lungs even though he wheezed.

 

Tim met Death on his first Father’s Day. He had no memory of it he was a baby. Tim’s Dad held him ‘n panicked, he was too young to be a dad.

 

Tim met Death at dusk. His sleepy little eyes held dreams of yet to come ‘n he gave a smile. He cooed contented in Death’s gentle embrace.

 

Tim met Death in a crib. Tim kicked his tiny feet at the play mobile, the doggie man, the big bird with a crown, the giant ‘n the squirrel.

 

Tim met Death when his first diaper needed changing. Death opened the diaper ‘n shook with horror. How could so much come out of something so small? Tim pissed in Death’s face ‘n laughed

Tim met Death when he had his first bottle. He was crying bloody murder, at the top of his lungs. Windows shook. Death ran ‘n held him ‘n gave Tim a bottle, he happily sucked.

 

Tim met Death the first time he focused his eyes. He saw Death ‘n smiled ‘n gurgled. Death played with Tim’s tiny fist ‘n his lock of black hair.

 

Tim met Death at a cricket match ‘n Tim promptly fell asleep. Death was happy, he had tried so hard to get Tim to nap. Death fell soundly asleep.

 

Tim met Death when his mum gave him a little bowl of custard. Tim plopped handfuls on his placemat ‘n drew. Death showed him the alphabet.

 

Tim met Death on his first Easter. Tim could barely crawl, but he got a basket filled with goodies. Death bit the ears off a chocolate bunny.

 

Tim met Death in his bedroom. Death stood by Tim’s crib ‘n turned on the radio. Tim’s little head bopped, from then on Tim had to have music to sleep ‘n could pick out bass lines ‘n beats.

 

Tim met Death when he started crawling. A shrimp was dropped on the floor. They found Tim was allergic to shrimp. Death tousled his hair.

 

Tim met Death when he took his first step. He hung onto a drawer knob in the kitchen, he stepped ‘n tumbled. Death beamed ‘n dusted him off.

 

Tim met Death when he spoke his first word, hi. Tim kept saying it to his play mobile ignoring Death. Death smacked his head in exasperation.

 

Tim met Death when he could toddle. He had found a shiny paperclip and an outlet to put it in, oh how he cried. Death tsked Tim ‘n bemusedly shook his head.

 

 

Tim met Death when he said his first sentence, oh shit I gotta poop. Tim’s second sentence was, I’m sorry. Death went ‘n changed his diaper.

 

Tim met Death when he first picked up a crayon. He scribbled on the walls. Tim’s mum yelled. Death giggled. I like your pictures he thought

 

Tim met Death when he was learning to swim. One of his water wings developed a leak and his teacher didn’t notice. Death tsked at the girl.

 

Tim met Death when he first tried eating carrots. He turned a bit purple, coughed hard ‘n was fine. Death patted his back ‘n smiled at him.

 

Tim met Death when he started teething. He would put anything in mouth ‘n chew on it. Tim drooled in misery ‘n chewed on Death’s fingers.

 

Tim met Death in a bath. Death scrubbed Tim’s back while he played with his rubber raven, making it squawk. Bubbles came from the tub. Death grimaced. Tim giggled.

 

Tim met Death on his first birthday. Death bought Tim a little chocolate cake. Tim smeared most of it on his face ‘n bib. Death beamed.

 

Tim met Death the first time he got bubble gum in his hair, his sister put it there. Death cut it out ‘n Tim toddled around with a bald patch.

 

Tim met Death when he got his first toy, a stuffed lamb named Ernie. Tim slowly picked off Ernie’s wool ‘n ate him. When Death found Ernie had disappeared, he was perplexed ‘n then found what left of Ernie in Tim’s diaper.

 

Tim met Death ‘n he gave Tim Ernie the II, who was Ernie’s identical twin. Tim had him longer because Death took him. Ernie the II was bald though.

 

Tim met Death when he first swallowed a penny. Death was worried until it came out. Death learned babies are nature’s horrible change purse.

 

Tim met Death when he first opened a cabinet. Death found him sitting chewing a potato covered in flour on the kitchen floor. Death chuckled.

 

Tim met Death when saw his first deer, he pointed at it ‘n shouted cow. Tim lived near a farmer with a herd of cattle, four legs meant cow to him.

 

Tim met Death the first time he rode in a car, he got sick. Tim spent the whole trip puking in the backseat. Death wiped his face off.

 

Tim met Death when he first got pinkeye. Death didn’t know it was contagious. There was no pinkeye in the underworld until Death brought it.

 

Tim met Death when he met his first dog, Ethel, she belonged to Tim’s aunts. Ethel the sheepdog snuffled against him playpen. Death beamed.

 

Tim met Death when he first took off his diaper ‘n ran naked through the yard. Death laughed with delight. Tim’s Mum screamed at him.

 

Tim met Death when he asked where babies came from. Really Death thought really they come from there? Tim nodded his little head sagely.

 

Tim met Death when he got his first teddy Schlep, who followed Tim everywhere. Death liked Schlep there were no teddies in the underworld.

 

Tim met Death when they first watched Doctor Who. The moment Death saw the Daleks he was in love. Tim was delighted ‘n squeed at the Doctor.

 

Tim met Death in the yard. He was following the Easter bunny, he thought, but what came out of it was brown, but not chocolate or an egg. Death giggled.

 

Tim met Death when he pulled the tail of the neighbor’s cat. He was covered in scratches ‘n oh how they stung, but Death put on Band-Aids.

 

Tim met Death the first time he felt left out. The other kids let him be near them, but when he tried to join in. He was completely shut down.

 

Tim met Death the first time he heard a lie, this is only going to hurt a little bit. Oh how Tim cried, it hurt really bad. Death held Tim.

 

Tim met Death the first time he was duped. There were sweet words ‘n candy, but there also was a hospital, a nurse, ‘n a shot. Death nodded.

 

Tim met Death when he first got ignored pulling at his mother’s leg. She was a busy woman, she walked off. Tim cried for a bit. Death sighed.

 

Tim met Death ‘n he wanted a toy so bad ‘n he told Death so. I already got you a toy Death thought. Tim held his breath until he turned blue, but Death wouldn’t budge.

 

Tim met Death the first time he had to get dressed up, Tim was a ring bearer. He’s way too young Death thought. Tim swallowed the ring ‘n happily played. The wedding rehearsal was stalled for a bit.

 

Tim met Death when he went to quietly play by himself. He had fun playing with his trucks ‘n scribbling with his crayons. Death patted him.

 

Tim met Death hanging from a tree upside-down. Tim loved to climb high. Death had a thing for heights, so he hugged the tree trunk tight.

 

Tim met Death on his first long trip to Gran ‘n Grandpa’s. Tim had his head out the window puking the whole time. Death patted his back.

 

Tim met Death when he stubbed his toe, his swearing fascinated Tim, who for the next week happily screamed mother%#*^/@. Death thought d*%^ .

 

Tim met Death when he slammed his fingers in the car door the first time. Tim cried ‘n Death wiped his tears, he hadn’t been looking.

 

Tim met Death when he bonked Tim’s head while trying to open the kitchen door. Oh how he cried. Death took a look ‘n kissed Tim’s head.

 

Tim met Death the first time he was bored. Tim ran around the house naked with a bucket on his head. Death laughed until it hurt. Tim beamed.

 

 

Tim met Death on his first Christmas, in a hospital in a croup tent. Death patted Tim’s wet little head ‘n sat watching him fitfully sleep.

 

Tim met Death on a dock. Death brought a loaf of stale bread ‘n broke off pieces ‘n fed the ducks. Tim squealed with delight at their antics.

 

Tim met Death when he threw his first tantrum. Tim went limp on the floor of the restaurant ‘n had a screamed that’d make a banshee proud. Death tried to pick him up, but he went ragdoll.

 

Tim met Death on a dirt path ‘n went berry picking. Tim was good at finding the juicy hidden berries. Death ate more berries than he picked.

 

Tim met Death the first time he went to the woods, he almost stepped in a fairy ring ‘n a wood elf asked Death if he could spare any change. Death gave him five acorn tops.

 

Tim met Death when he got first haircut. Tim sat in the chair ‘n screamed ‘n cried. Death gave Tim his teddy Schlep ‘n he quieted down some.

 

Tim met Death in a bedroom. Death tucked him into bed. Tim begged for Death to turn off the light. Tim was a funny little boy he hoped for monsters in the closet ‘n underneath the bed.

 

Tim met Death in his bedroom. Tim had dream about a strange creature, the Bird King. It’s was no dream Tim he lives in the corner of your eye Death thought.

 

Tim met Death when he got his first kitty Mr. Socks. Tim patted his belly too hard ‘n Mr. Socks objected. Death put Band-Aids on Tim’s scratches.

 

Tim met Death on a porch ‘n helped his grandma snap beans. Death checked his list ‘n shivered. He went to get a hammer. Death was helping Tim’s grandma with the house.

 

Tim met Death at his grandma’s house. While Death was repairing the roof, he panicked ‘n lost footing ‘n fell. Tim jumped off the porch giggling to help him up. Death shook.

 

Tim met Death ‘n he showed him his record collection. Tim liked the music ‘n loved the color of the records ‘n the cover art. Death beamed.

 

Tim met Death at his first day of kindergarten. He loved it, but no matter how hard he tried Tim couldn’t understand time. Death chuckled.

 

Tim met Death when he first asked his Mum if he could have a dog. She screeched no ‘n that she was scared of dogs. Don’t give up Death thought.

 

Tim met Death when he got his first coloring book. Tim could color in the lines, but he wondered why you’d want to. Death shrugged ‘n smiled.

 

Tim met Death when he needed a nap, he hated them. Tim stomped ‘n yelled until he was red ‘n then fell asleep. Death tucked him in bed ‘n kissed him on the head.

 

Tim met Death at a beauty pageant for little girls. Death took look at his list, lots of the moms on it. Tim was thrilled because most of the mum there were really mean. Death grinned.

 

Tim met Death when he was teaching Schlep how to fly. Schlep was stuck ‘n needed to be saved. Grumbling Death climbed the tree ‘n tried not to look down. Death returned Schlep to Tim’s eager arms. Death shook.

 

Tim met Death when he first noticed boys ‘n girls were different. He was playing doctor with a little neighbor girl. Death read a magazine, he was in the waiting room.

 

Tim met Death at a pond, they watched the fish lazily swim ‘n eat bugs. Tim didn’t like it. Death patted his back, death was a part of life.

 

Tim met Death to go catch toads. Tim liked to watch them hop ‘n Death liked to lick them. Tim giggled as he watched silly Death kiss a toad.

 

Tim met Death on a beach. Tim buried him in the sand ‘n waited for the high tide. Tim hadn’t learned yet you can’t get rid of Death.

 

Tim met Death when he went poop on the potty for the first time. There were ruthless negotiations. Tim finally agreed to do it for a gumball. Death gave Tim a shiny penny for his gumball bank.

 

Tim met Death the first time he went to see Santa ‘n oh how he cried because Santa smelt of piss, rum ‘n fags. Death whisked poor Tim away.

 

Tim met Death in his naughty corner. He tried to act all grown up, but he just couldn’t. Death patted his back ‘n grinned hugely. Tim giggled ‘n squirmed.

 

Tim met Death the first time he had to wait for the bathroom. What are you doing Death thought, he had never seen the pee pee dance. Tim frowned.

 

Tim met Death when he first got his heart broken. He ‘n Sam were the bestest of friends, then Sam didn’t want to be anymore ‘n took his dump truck back. Death gave Tim a bear hug.

 

Tim met Death with his first dog Gracie. A bull mad with lust for a cow jumped the fence ‘n went chasing after Tim ‘n she protected him. Death gave Gracie a cookie ‘n a pat.

 

Tim met Death in a hospital waiting room. Death sat with poor Tim. This is worse than limbo Death thought. Tim gave a seal’s bark cough.

 

Tim met Death at a pharmacy. Tim was unwell. At least he feels well enough to toddle up ‘n down the aisle ‘n cough on people Death thought.

 

 

Tim met Death when he learned how to tie his shoes. Tim practiced first on Death. Tim ‘n Death would be trapped because of the Gordian knots Tim would tie. Death freed them with a pocket knife.

 

Tim met Death at the pool. Tim had wanted to go into the shallow end, but Death talked him out of it. It was a suspicious shade of yellow. Tim jumped off the diving board ‘n had great fun. Death lounged in the sun.

 

Tim met Death when his gerbil Terrance chewed a hole in Schlep’s back ‘n made a nest. Tim left him to nap ‘n found that Terrance was a she.

 

Tim met Death the first time he got a laugh. He loved it ‘n he walked around telling everyone his joke until it died. Death gave Tim some new material.

 

Tim met Death the first time he procrastinated. Mrs. Perkin’s ancient cat should have died a long time ago, but Death love Gary. Tim grinned.

 

Tim met Death the first time he read a book all by himself, worlds opened up ‘n Tim saw what he wanted to be. Death beamed with pride. From then on he carried a pad ‘n pencil in his pocket.

 

Tim met Death when he was first laughed at by the other kids. He felt so embarrassed he thought would die. Death shook his head ‘n smiled.

 

Tim met Death when he got the best birthday gift ever not the shiny tricycle his Mum gave him, but the box it came in. Death patted his back.

 

Tim met Death on Valentine’s Day. Everyone in class decorated their paper bags ‘n passed out cards. Tim gave Death his chalky candy hearts ‘n during recess Death drew with them on the asphalt.

 

Tim met Death on his last day of kindergarten. Tim could count ‘n spell with the best of them, but telling time he just didn’t get. Death gave him a digital watch.

 

Tim met Death in his naughty corner. He was angry ‘n threw a fit. He fitted his gerbil Terrence with a stink bomb ‘n let him loose. Death sighed.

 

Tim met Death when his brother accidentally killed his gerbil Terence while playing battleships. Death put him in his pocket ‘n gave a sigh.

 

Tim met Death when he took responsibility for his actions Tim broke his brother’s R2-D2 bank when they were playing. Tim apologized for it. Tim’s brother gave him a noogie ‘n hug.

 

Tim met Death he found his first pet snake. A beautiful corn snake he named Cornflake. Cornflake loved to go meet people. Death giggled.

 

Tim met Death when he got chicken pox. He thought he’d go mad with the urge to itch himself or die. Death shook his head ‘n put oven mitts to Tim’s hands.

 

Tim met Death on his birthday. Death had decorated it a firefighter theme. Tim had the chicken pox ‘n other parents wanted their kids to catch it. Death shook his head.

 

Tim met Death at the circus ‘n they took a seat in the rickety bleachers. Tim enjoyed the circus. Death went running when he saw the clowns.

 

Tim met Death in a meadow to pick blackberries. Tim walked to a different spot ‘n was startled by a bunny hopping around. They ran in opposite directions. Death giggled.

 

Tim met Death the first time he was inspired, he flew at the easel. Tim was covered head to toe in fingerprints. Death beamed ‘n wiped’em off.

Tim met Death in the underworld. They visited Death’s Gran. She complained that she hadn’t seen him in an eternity. Tim ‘n Death grinned.

 

Tim met Death in a living room. Tim sat at Death’s feet. Death told him his nightmares. Tim listened rapt. He loved monsters ‘n broken things.

 

Tim met Death at a Halloween party. Death brought a real demon from hell to spice up the party, but all it wanted to do was bob for apples.

 

Tim met Death in an attic with all sorts of cool movie props swords ‘n shields ‘n saddles. Death played horsie with Tim bucking ‘n neighing.

 

Tim met Death on a dock, his legs dangled off the edge. They watched the jellyfish float. Tim wondered if one day he’d die. Death nodded yes.

 

Tim met Death when he camped in the yard for the first time. Death told him stories about the underworld ‘n Tim beamed with happiness ‘n turned his marshmallow into a flaming charcoal. Death stamped it out with his foot.

 

Tim met Death the first time he looked at the stars. It filled him with such wonder ‘n his mind opened. Death stared up into the night happy, it reminded him of home.

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